The windows needed opening when summer breezes blew

I sat beside a big long pole; the teacher said “You’ll do”

So I was window monitor in 1962.

The writing on the wall was plain for everyone to see

As harbinger of future wealth and great success for me

When I was made milk monitor in 1963.

And things continued in this vein as in these years before

When I was put in charge of opening the classroom door

A solemn duty given me in 1964.

It seems I was the teacher’s pet, for without the need to strive

I was singled out from scuzzies who from graft would skive

And so gave out the inkwells next in 1965.

For helpfulness and honesty I truly had no peer

So teachers and the police all thought that it was rather queer

When I made off with National Savings stamps in my next year.

Yes indeed the writing on the wall was plain to see

Behind this angel’s face I’ve lived a life of treachery

And now spend my ill-gotten gains beside the Spanish sea.