Welcome back to Cover Snark!

From Pam G: They only get one wing each? How does that work? Like a three-legged race, only a mile up in the air? What if her hair gets tangled in her feathers? Pleather Warehouse would go broke without them.

Sarah: Maybe she has all those straps because they have to fly tethered together, as Pam G said, like a three legged race in the sky.

Amanda: They all look very plastic.

Elyse: It’s giving Taylor.

Amanda: Taylor would never show her forehead like that.

Sneezy: The lack of texture gives me uncanny valley.

From Kareni:  This looks rather gravity defying.

Sarah: Everything about this gives me the ick: the teeth. WHY SUCH TEETH. The perspective of the flip flops. And the absolute bullshit of this pose.

WHY SO MANY TEETH.

Elyse: Let’s just put the boat in a completely random area of the image. No centering required.

Sarah: And I think the boat is a stock image so it doesn’t match the rest of the image?

Elyse: It’s like a kids drawing of a boat.

Sneezy: The leaves look like stock too, but from another parallel reality. It’s just really jarring that it’s the only thing on the cover that uses obvious and blended shading.

Another from Pam G: Titular Snark for your crunchy delectation. And why–when cursive is nearly extinct–does it keep showing up on book covers?

Sarah: I feel the same way about Wine Mom Font as I do about Scriptina: ENOUGH. BANNED. STOP IT.

Amanda: The title feels like a UTI waiting to happen.

Sneezy: Oh, come on. Do FUN cursive. Enough of this bland shit. And has anyone actually had jam and dill pickles together? Is it an actual thing? (Please don’t be a thing.)

From Elle: I’ve enjoyed several of Katie Ruggle’s books but I think your Cover Snark readers might appreciate the surfeit of brow-furrowing material on this cover… the idea of pausing mid-climb for an upside-down kiss, the pun and the odd details of the figures. Does he have an extra joint in his left arm? Is she wearing a facial mask? And then there are the safety issues. I don’t know much about rock climbing, but her shoes don’t look up to the task and the places of harness straps looks questionable.

Sarah: Initially I was like, oh, that’s kinda cool but then I looked closer. Is he pulling her hair? Ow! Why is her face an entirely different shade? 100000000 points for the excellent pun, though. Well played.

Elyse: Is that bird taking a shit?

Sneezy: I don’t know if I’d trust any rope thing more than gravity, but good on them for having fun, I guess.

No, I change my mind, one’s upside down and the other’s pulling hair, GET DOWN THIS INSTANT!